I consider myself to be a "strong, independent woman." I enjoy calling myself this. I am single but that's okay cause I can take care of myself. However, sometimes this comic hits it right on the nail.
My biggest kitchen pet peeve is having the cupboards left open. I don't know why this is my biggest pet peeve related to the kitchen. Why not the clean dishes being left in the dishwasher? Or dirty dishes left in the sink?? Dirty dishes left in the sink can be really gross. And the longer they sit there, the less you want to touch them because they only get nastier with time. But you know deep down they won't clean themselves, you are going to have to get in there and scrub 'em down eventually. You know it's in your best interest to clean them sooner rather than later... Anyway. What about dirty pots and pans from a meal being left on the stove? Or food left out? Or spills left untended? Or crumbs being swept on the floor?
All these things are gross or annoying or both. So why is the cupboards at the top of my list? Well, I believe it's because when I see cupboards left open my first thought is "How hard is it to close the cupboard???" Really. How hard is it? Not very. How much time does it really take you do to just push it closed? Not long. Can do it while walking through the kitchen even. Don't even have to stop. So to me it seems rather silly not to have your cupboards closed when you aren't actively putting something in it or taking something out.
The other things I listed before... dirty dishes piling up in the sink, clean dishes left in the dishwasher, dirty pots and pans on the stove, etc. Those are all unfavorable things which I also dislike. However! I am a busy woman. And these items take time. You have to stop and make a real point to address these items. While none of them are really difficult in the least to care to, the time can be problematic for some such as myself. So I can forgive these items since I find myself in the position where these things happen, much to my dismay.
The cupboards though. Again, you can do those without any real effort. So it just boggles my mind when people don't care if cupboards are left open or actually PREFER they are left open. Not that I'm judging. To each their own. I actually had a friend when I was in high school show me his kitchen (well his parents' kitchen, but whatever) and specifically tell me "Do not close the cupboards. I like them to be open." Strange to me, but enjoyed by him. It took all my willpower not close the cupboards in his kitchen. Again... to each their own. But try that in my kitchen and we'll be having a talk.
I decided to upgrade my desktop. Originally I had thought I'd just dual boot it, keeping Windows 7 on it as is and just adding Ubuntu 10.10. The thought also crossed my mind to dual boot Linux with Windows Server 2008 R2, but then quickly realized this required a 64bit machine which I unfortunately did not have. So back to plan A of Windows 7 and Linux. During the installation process of Ubuntu, however, I realized just how bad my video card was. I had known it was on its last leg, but I didn't realize that it was basically dead and just on life support. This realization came to me when I noticed that I was unable to read the installation instructions for Linux. So... onward and upward!
New plan.
Now I knew I needed to buy a new video card. If I was going to do that, I might as well upgrade my machine a bit more to also support Windows Server 2008 R2 like I had wanted. Okay... next hurdle is to figure out what hardware is needed. I'm no hardware person by any means. All I know is that I need a motherboard and processor to support 64bit, new RAM, and a video card that actually works. Thankfully I have amazing friends who do know lots about hardware. I get some great advice and help picking out the following components from NewEgg.com:
With overnight shipping (cause I needed it snappy to get the ball rolling on my project), it came to about $200. Not bad at all! And I get to keep my desktop alive!
My most recent adventure in computing began with the need to have a computer strong enough to support my thesis project. While my thesis project is not very computationally or programatically intense, it does require a few things that I did not have at the start of this journey. This included a 64bit machine to run Windows Server 2008 and a computer to run a Linux server off of.
Now... granted, I have a desktop computer and three laptops in my possession. Two of the laptops are EEE PCs with no real power. Their beauty is in the fact I can travel with them with little fear of breaking them and they are crazy light weight. My other laptop only 32bit which runs Windows 7 and is my main computer. It has it's own issues, but we won't get into that here. Then my desktop! My wonderful, wonderful desktop (no sarcasm, honest). This big guy came to me in 2003... so it's a bit old, just a bit... Last summer brought it back from the dead by replacing the power supply and upgrading it from Windows XP to Windows 7. This would be my best bet for my thesis project. Why keep this computer alive? Well... let me tell you.
My desktop was a gift. My late uncle Mike (favorite uncle, btw) and my dad pitched in together to build me this computer back in 2003. It was top of the line at the time. Hand build by my uncle. And the first computer which was mine from the beginning, not just a hand-me-down like all the other computers I had been using before. They even made sure that the colors matched me (black and silver themed). It was perfect!
So happy! My own fancy desktop computer.
Me with my Uncle Mike and my desktop
See how nice it looks? Got my Matrix screen saver and everything. ^_^
So, to me this desktop means a lot. My uncle passed away not long ago and this desktop feels like a "living" reminder of him. He built it for me. I will rebuild it for him. Make him proud.
Today is the 1 year anniversary of a friend and coworker's death. He fell asleep driving home from work, only minutes from his home in Idaho where his wife and two boys waited for him. His car crossed traffic, went off the road and flipped partially ejecting him due to the fact he was not wearing his seatbelt. :( He was dead on impact.
Most of us at the office were told the news the following morning. News spread fast though of the tragedy. Another dear friend who I am fortunate to work with told me immediately after I walked in the door. He walked into the room with a strange look on his face, one which I had not seen before. As he told me the story of what had happened, I could only think that he was telling some horrible joke because such a thing couldn't actually happen to someone we knew and loved. Didn't make sense. We had seen him just the day before. He had plans for the new project he was on at work. He had his family, his boys... he had a life. He couldn't be gone.
Took about an hour before it started to sink in what had happened. Everyone had been told they could go home if they needed to. I tried to power through, but realized I would not be able to hold it together for very long so I ended up at home hugging my cat through tears processing what had happened. Felt it necessary to cry. Felt honoring in a way. As if tears didn't happen he hadn't deserved people to miss him or something, which truly wasn't the case at all since he was an amazing person.
I felt compelled to be sure people outside the office who knew him were told. Spent the morning telling everyone I could think of who had known him. Was good to talk to people about what had happened.
People from the office, including this man's best friend who also worked with us, gathered at the diner across from our building for lunch in memory of our lost friend and colleague. It was somber but comforting at the same time. I was happy to have mustered up enough energy and wipe away the tears momentarily to have gone. Our company even ended up covering the bill which was a nice token of sympathy for everyone's loss.
The rest of the morning was spent much like the morning had been. Kitty hugs, tears, talking with people about what had happened, shared memories with people about our friend. Can't replace a person but you can do your best to remember them, to honor their memory and their life.
These events really make you stop and think. You realize how short life is. How life's flame can be snuffed out at any moment without warning. We should be sure to tell the people who are in our lives how much we appreciate them. Tell loved ones we love and care about them. Tell people how special they are to us. Don't take time with family and friends for granted. We may not have tomorrow to tell them how much they mean to us.
Today was special and sad as we remembered our friend again. Not that we had ever forgotten him. But we made extra effort today. A smaller group of people again went to lunch at the same diner in memory of our friend. And the friend who broke the awful news to me grabbed a beer with me after work, same as he and I did last year.
I am happy to have known this man who is gone. I feel lucky to have known him. Privileged that he shared advice with me on work and life. As part of how some of us at work honor him, we have kept his plants alive from his office. Even expanded them by taking starts from his ficus tree and sharing them with people who want part of our friend's tree. I have one sitting at my desk so I will never forget. Part of our friend will always be with us.
The song here is what I heard on the radio on my way home from the office last year and the lyrics are just perfect for what had happened. I again listen to it now to help remember.
Pearl Jam - "Just Breathe"
Yes, I understand that every life must end, aw-huh,..As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw-huh,..Oh I'm a lucky man, to count on both handsthe ones I love,..
Some folks just have one,yeah, others, they've got none, huh-uh
Stay with me,..Let's just breathe.
Practiced are my sins,never gonna let me win, aw-huh,..Under everything, just another human being, aw-huh,..Yeah, I don't wanna hurt, there's so much in this worldto make me bleed.
Stay with me,..You're all I see.
Did I say that I need you?Did I say that I want you?Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.As I come clean.
I wonder everydayas I look upon your face, aw-huh,..Everything you gaveAnd nothing you would take, aw huh,..Nothing you would takeEverything you gave...
Did I say that I need you?Oh, did I say that I want you?Oh, if I didn't I'm a fool you see,..No one knows this more than me.As I come clean, ah-ah...
Nothing you would take,..Everything you gave.Love you till I die,..Meet you on the other side.
I believe in karma. What goes around comes around. Some of it I believe is so that you can gain better perspective. See situations from a different view. To feel and understand what another person has gone through. You break someone's heart, your heart in turn gets broken. You string someone along, you in turn get strung along by someone else. Your friends watch you suffer in a situation you allow yourself to stay in, you in turn get to watch someone else go through the same thing.
Doesn't always have to be negative things which come back around. This of course also applies to positive things. You smile at someone, you typically will get an immediate smile in return. Sometimes the nice things we do take time to come back around. Sometimes it's hard to see the good things that go back and forth. They are often small, much like a smile. But that doesn't make them any less important.
It can be easy to lose sight of the positive things. To focus only on the heartache you see and feel in your world. Sometimes heartache comes in strange forms, such as watching your friends find happiness while you are still searching for it. The people you love and care about find their happy ending while you are still in the middle or even beginning of your story. Hard not to compare and say "where's my happy ending?"
For me... music is what gets me through my day. I have found the following song especially helpful to me. Even when karma may be hitting you hard with negative or painful things making it seem like all is lost, this reminds me not to give up on my "happy ending."
Annagrace "Don't Let Go"
If you're feeling down
Call on me
Hold on tight and baby don't let go
This too will pass
You've gotta believe in the power of love
So don't let go
Don't let go
Don't let go
Don't let go
Sometimes life can drive you crazy
I know how hard that it can be
When the problems come together
You've got real hard to feel at ease
Someday somewhere somehow I know
The love you want it will be there
Someday somehow
I'll will to come
If you're feeling down
Call on me
Hold on tight and baby don't let go
This too will pass
You've gotta believe in the power of love
So don't let go
Don't let go
So don't let go
Don't let go
No I don't have all the answers
To the questions in your mind
All I know is that I love you
And your tears they will run dry
Someday somewhere somehow I know
The love you want it will be there
Someday somehow
I'll will for come
If you're feeling down
Call on me
Hold on tight and baby don't let go
This too will pass
You've gotta believe in the power of love
So don't let go
Don't let go
So don't let go
Don't let go
So apparently it's been forever since I've posted... a lot has happened since 2011 began. I'm still single (only mentioning it because it's a record for me recently...). Although I have found love in varying degrees and also heartache in this short time. Even now I float between a state of pure joy and total heartache on a daily basis. All part of the emotional roller-coaster of life after a breakup I suppose.
At the moment I am keeping myself busy with activities with my awesome friends and with school. My thesis is in full swing at the moment. Just turned in the final paperwork to get it completely approved through the university and working on prep work to begin "phase 1" of my social engineering attacks. Also, working on submissions to a couple conferences... one in Denmark and one in Portland.
Busyness is my friend and my enemy. While it helps keep my mind of certain things I do not wish to ponder, it would be to my benefit to ponder such uncomfortable things about life and love and my future. All in good time though.
